You Are Not Alone Ways to deal with being sexually abused 1. Remember that you are not alone. You aren’t the only one that has had this happen to them and there are people, support groups, and foundations that are there to support you. I have listed a few of these organizations below. www.restorationlifefoundation.org www.joyfulheartfoundation.org http://www.oakfnd.org/node/21 www.safehorizon.org 2. Be Brave Tell someone what has happened to you whether it is a friend, the police, or the doctor at the hospital when you go to get examined. Someone needs to tell the authorities so that they can help stop this from happening again. Protect yourself and others by being brave and stepping forward. 3. Remember that it’s not your fault Women often blame themselves when these things happen. They feel they could have been more careful or could have done things differently to avoid it. You have to know that it is not your fault that this happened to you. 4. Find tools to help you cope Take Self Defense classes, go to a support group, do something to make yourself feel comfortable in the world again. Spend time talking to people about what happened. Don’t hide from it and don’t hold it all in. The more you talk about it the easier it will be to let it go and have your life back.

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The 5 P's of Friendship

You’re a TRUE friend because you have all 5 P’s

Play – Your fun! 

Praise - YOU help me feel good about me and you are awesome yourself.

Protection – You have my back and I have yours.

Pray – You pray with and for me and I feel great praying for you.

Prize – You’re a prize in my life and at the bottom of this email I have a prize for you. I already claimed mine.  

Play along with me today -

·     praise 7 of your closes friends and forward this email. 

·     Say the Prayer of Protection, I said it for you

·     Claim your PRIZE!!

 

When you Honor on the 5 P’s of friendship

       Miracles flow into your life

 

Prayer of Protection!

 With this blessing of friendship and love, I put on the full armor of God.

I take stand against the devil’s schemes.

 

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, of our good friends and family; but against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore I put on the full armor of God, so that when evil comes, I will be able to stand my ground and after I have done everything, to stand.  I will remain because I am a friend, I am family - so I stand firm.

With the belt of truth buckled around your waist

With the breast plate of righteousness in place

With my feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the message of peace.

In addition to all this I take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

I take the helmet of salvation

I hold sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

 And I pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

With this in mind I am alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people, including my friends and family who sent me this prayer and for the ones I am sending it too.    

I give thanks for all who are praying also for me.

Help me speak words of kindness and thoughts of love.  Pray that I may declare love as fearlessly, as I should.

Together we stand, Amen.

 

Being your friend brings my heart closer to heaven.

Pass this email on to all your friends and share with them how much you care for them TODAY.

  Claim your PRIZE!

Let’s Get the 5P’s of friendship around the world 3 times before June 2^nd. Forward it on to 7 of your friends.

 

Your Prize is waiting for you HERE!

From Victim to Survivor

            Shake it off and move on, it happened you lived. If you need someone to talk to I am here. My personal experience they really do not want to talk to you about this when you need someone to talk to, it’s not fun and it is out of habit for some to make that statement. My favorite “he did not put his penis inside you so it was not that bad”.  How many of us as child sexual abuse survivors have heard those statements from someone.  I have heard them and more, I am sure as survivors you have heard them also.  Statements like these make me angry, I feel like my feelings and pain are being dismissed.  Yes my uncle was kind enough not to penetrate me, maybe I should call him and say thank you for looking out for me. Wait, he did do other sexual things to me as a child that should not have been done.  As survivors, we cannot just forget or move on because it makes everyone else comfortable. We are tired of having to pretend everything is perfect so that others will be happy and comfortable.

            My voice was silenced a long time ago. I grew up at a time where children where to know their place, to be seen and not heard.  When I was a child I did not know what my Uncle was doing to me or having me do to him.  I just knew something was wrong, why did we have to sneak off to the basement, closet or bathroom. My way of coping was to block it out; at some point I just stopped thinking and remembering.  If I did as I was told it would be done and over with quickly. He told me not to tell anyone, if I did not do as I was exactly told he would yell at me. I was afraid of him; still to this day I look in his eyes and see pure evil. The abuse from him went on for years till it stopped.  At thirteen the memories of everything he did came back and that is when the depression started and suicidal thoughts.

            After my grandmother died, I attempted suicide she was my uncle’s mother.  I kept that secret with me since I was a child, never telling anyone but my husband after we started dating.  In my mind I was protecting my grandparents and my mother, but nobody protected me.  I did blame them for a long time; I wish I could have told my grandparents.  I wish I had the courage to tell my mother about her brother now. I still feel like I have to protect her, but at the same time feeling like a coward.  Also in my head as long as I took the abuse maybe my sister would not have been abused by him.  As the oldest it was my job to take care of and protect my brother and sister.  Who took care of me or protected me?

            With therapy I am able to see how I showed and still show my pain. Suicide attempt, nightmares, depression, excessive drinking, not sleeping, constantly wanting to kill myself and I became a master at keeping people at a distance.  I spend more time testing people to see if they are worthy of my trust then allowing them to get to know me. Secrets do not stay secret forever; they are constantly fighting to come out.  I am trying to find my voice at 41, going to therapy and working on allowing people close to me. I have two great kids and a husband who I love, everything I do is for them. They deserve my best and I deserve me at my best.  I want to be a survivor and not a victim anymore. I am writing to hopefully help someone that is going thru what I went thru or still is.  I was molested by my uncle; I was physically and verbally abused by my father.   I am still here, they took my childhood but I cannot let them have my adulthood that belongs to me. 

Questions and answers

Follow this link to see "My Interview With Kathleen Frank"; answers to some of the questions that many of you have...  CLICK HERE

Kathleen interviews with Michael Dresser

Kathleen Frank interviews with Michael Dresser on Dresser After Dark. 
 Check it Out!!!

Upcoming Project

We are working on a project that will incorporate survivor stories from all over the globe, young & old, from all religions, races and nationalities.  PLEASE let us know if you would like to be a part of our awareness project.  For more details, email us at info@restorationlifefoundation.org