Kathleen will be speaking at the Fresno Women's Chamber of Commerce
luncheon, held at National University in Fresno, CA from 11:30-1:30pm.
You WON'T want to miss this!!
National University
20 River Park Place West
Fresno, CA 93720
For more information, please visit their website at www.fcwcc.org
Thursday, December 27, 2012
January 22, 2013
Kathleen Frank will be speaking at the Clovis Chamber of Commerce
Women's Dinner at Andiamo's in Clovis, CA. Dinner is from 5:30-7:30.
You WON'T want to miss this!!!
Andiamo's
1275 Shaw Ave.
Clovis, CA 93611
For more information about this event, please visit the Clovis Chamber of Commerce website www.clovischamber.com
You WON'T want to miss this!!!
Andiamo's
1275 Shaw Ave.
Clovis, CA 93611
For more information about this event, please visit the Clovis Chamber of Commerce website www.clovischamber.com
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
ANONYMOUS 12/26/12
I was 3 years old when I was molested by my cousin, she was
14. Imagine feeling a sensual feeling at that young of an age, and carrying it
until now. By the grace of God I am a virgin still to this day, but not a
virgin to the sexual tension that’s been in my body since I was a little girl.
At that age, somebody shouldn't feel what I felt for so many years, a young
girl should be playing with toys for fun or surrounding herself in things that
made her feel good inside. Not me though, that sensual feeling was stuck in my
mind all the time. Masturbation usually starts when maturation begins in one’s
self, but it started for me the day my innocence was tainted. I remember my
teachers at school always catching me, and having to have meetings with my
parents about my actions. My parents would catch me and I’d get yelled at, and
my pastors would catch me and feel so bad for me. I remember having friends
spend the night, and all I could think about was trying not to do it because I didn't want to scare them or get caught. I was constantly guilty, and always
feeling like I was going to get in trouble. I remember as I got older I was
able to control it; one because of God and two because I had to try hard to not
let it have such a hold on me. To this day I struggle with the want to feel
that sensation again, but I keep trying harder and harder to not let it have
control over me. The molestation didn't affect me to where I was scandalous, or
gave myself away to men, but every day is a day for me to get back the
innocence that was taken away from me long ago.
Steps to Inner Healing and Freedom
Below
is a basic list of fundamental steps that are extremely important for those who
want inner healing and desire deliverance from the pain and trauma of sexual
abuse. The information here is a vital part of getting set free and it can play
an irreplaceable role in setting you free today. Don’t spend the rest of your life in resentment, pain, and emotional
and physical suffering from your past. The steps below are designed to heal
your soul and give you freedom.
You Are Loved
First
I want you to know that you are loved and I fully understand that there is
nothing more you want but to be healed from your wounds and to have your pain,
hurt and sorrow taken away from you. Have you loved somebody so much, that you
wish you could take their pain or suffering from them? Of course you have. The
first step is to love you. When you love yourself and know you are loved it
makes the journey easier. If you have a
difficult time loving yourself, then seek to find someone to help you through
this process. Find someone who loves you and allow them to love on you and tell you why they
love you. Get reaffirmation of how much you’re loved. I go to the Bible and
there I find thousands of scriptures of how much God loves me, this really helps
me a lot!
Cast Your Cares Away
Do
you want to receive healing from emotional wounds, pain, sorrows, grief, and
anguish? It is vital that we cast these cares away not take the burden
on ourselves. Everyone has their own way of doing this, for me I believe in God
and that He loves me with an everlasting love, and that He desires me to be
healed and set free, therefore I cast my cares upon Him. Not some of them, but ALL of them; knowing
that He cares for me and wants to take those wounds from me eases me; it gives
me peace.
Release the hurt, the painful and fearful
emotions from your soul. Hanging
onto fear, hurt and pain can actually block you from receiving healing in your
soul. It is vital to open up and allow your wounds to be healed, and if you
have a higher power like I do, then give it to Him. A scripture that helps me
focus on this is in Matthew 11:28-30”
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will
give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and
humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is
easy and my burden is light.”
In the above verse, it's not speaking about a heavy physical
burden, but a burden in a person's soul. This is made evident in the latter
part of this passage where it says, “You will find rest for your souls.” Jesus is
telling us to come to Him and give Him our heavy burden, and take His yoke
which is light and easy to bear.
If
you can’t go to God, then you need to work harder and tell your painful
emotions to be released as you cast them away. It's okay to cry, sob and let
the damaged emotions come out as you release them. Holding on to the pain and
hurt will only prevent you from being healed.
Find Someone To Confide In
If
you can find a person to confide in, it can also be very helpful to share your
burden with them and receive encouragement and support from them. There is tremendous
healing that can take place as you share your pain with someone you trust!
Try to find someone who has your best interest in mind.
Someone who has been through a similar situation and has come out healed and set
free is ideal. You would be amazed to
know that there are more people who have been through what you have been through, some set free and living an awesome life. Seek someone who can
understand and give you comfort and wisdom.
Don't worry about being judged
by what happened to you, the person you confide in must love who you are now.
Forgive
Abuse, trauma, hurt and pain are all works of evil. However, it’s important to extend forgiveness towards those who have hurt you. Not being able to forgive will hinder or block your healing. It will bind you up and cause you to live in pain and torment. It is vital to release those feelings that you have against others, so that healing and forgiving power can heal and restore your soul. It is a deadly poison that separates us from others and from forgiveness in our own lives. It is hard to receive healing when one is in such a position. Inner healing requires you to forgive. It is absolutely essential to release feelings of bitterness and resentment, in order to fully receive healing for our souls. Forgiving others will welcome healing power into your life.
Know Who You Are
Many people do not know who they are; they do
not know their purpose. They live day by day repeating many of the same things
in their lives and seem to be going nowhere.
This way of life can cause depression which can lead to more hurt and
pain. Know who you are, know what your
purpose is in life. If you don’t know, take time to find out. Ask yourself what
you love about you, what your interests are and what makes you get up each
day. For me, I have recently come to
know who I am, and realizing this was absolutely vital to my healing
process. I now know my purpose. Channeling what happened to me to help others; it is part of
the healing process. When you've "been there and done that” you can empathize and be there for someone else who has or is suffering. You
were created for good, use what happened to you to help someone else,
doing so will not only help you heal but them too.
Confront Your Fears
If
you deal with unbelief, insecurity, guilt, shame and so forth, you need to
confront your fears. When I am faced with any kind of fear, I shout it out and
tell whatever it is holding me back to leave.
A fear of any kind is not a part of who you are and has no place in your
life; you have control over your fears, just take it! If you are impressed to
speak over your fears now, then I encourage you to do so right now. Why wait? This exercise will give you a sense
of freedom when you’re done! Fear is what has bound you and held you a prisoner
in your mind, body and soul. If you do not have the strength to confront your
fears then God can and will deliver you from these areas that have held you
captive, all you need to do is release it to Him. If you still need help, and many reading this
will, please don't hesitate to seek help from someone who is qualified.
I
do not claim to be a specialist in the area of inner healing and deliverance,
nor am I certified to help or council you. However, I have been through several
inner healing and deliverance sessions for myself and once I experienced true freedom, I spent
time going through classes so that I can offer help to those who have been
bound as I once was. Again, there are those who are specialists, they can help
you and I encourage you to seek the help you need so you can live a life of freedom
in your mind, body and soul.
Thank
you for taking time to read this article, the information given can also be found in my book, “I’m Fat and Nobody Cares”.
My hope is that you will be on the road to recovery and live a life that
is purposeful and full of love, joy and freedom! The state of our mind, our will, and our
emotions are very important in how we feel, think, and act. One of my purposes
in life is to share my freedom with as many people as I can so they too are set
free from the bondage that has held them back most of their lives. If you too are set free, I encourage you to
share your story with others so they can get help. Doing so is a service of
love that you can give to others who need to be free!
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Volunteers Needed
Restoration Life Foundation is currently seeking volunteers
who are interested in helping to be a part of changing girls and women’s lives
who suffer from the emotional trauma of sexual abuse and molestation. We are looking for people who are willing to
volunteer their time to make phone calls to local churches, women’s
organizations, counselors, and other non-profit organizations or schools that
would consider having me speak about my abuse and
offer hope and restoration. Please
contact us at info@restorationlifefoundation.org or call at 1-866-350-LIFE (5433) if you are
interested in volunteering your time for our cause.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Get our Monthly Newsletter!
Email us to receive our monthly newsletter! It's full of awesome articles, current and upcoming events, as well our new column, Share Your Story, which features our story of the month written by victims who have overcome their abuse!
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Thursday, November 29, 2012
11.28.12 ANONYMOUS
ANONYMOUS
I remember
the day it happened, like it was yesterday. He told me that it was all normal
and that we were just playing a game. He said that people did this all the
time. I was 3 years old, he was 4. The game? The details don’t matter, but what
does is that it was sexual and it was wrong. That was the first time I remember
being sexual molested. From the time I was 3 until 18, I would be sexually
assaulted by different people, some my age, others older all in the guise of
the “game” I learned at 3 years of age.
It wasn’t
until I was married that all of the memories flooded back. I was faced with the
harsh reality that I had been abused. You see in my mind, the stories had all
changed. They were stories of victory where I would defeat my opponent in this
“game.” But as I had to come to terms with what had happened, the truth flooded
back. I had not been victorious, I had been the victim. However, the story does not end there.
In having to
face the reality, I began to realize that I didn’t have to be the victim. I
sought help to deal with the trauma, the pain. What freedom I found in
recognizing that even though I had been victimized, I could overcome. Through
prayer, inner healing, and daily confession of Hope, I now stand free of all of
the assault. I can literally say, it has no hold on me. I am free! I encourage
you to deal with what happened. Don’t be the victim, be the victory. Let your
trial be you triumph. Conquer, don’t be conquered. If I can do it then you can,
too! There are many resources out there and I more than anyone know the freedom
there is in bringing what is hidden in darkness to light.
Share Your Story
The world is a scary place. It is full of tragedy, terror, sadness and pain. Everybody suffers in some form or another, whether it be physical mental or emotional; there is suffering. The pain and suffering I felt growing up might be different from the pain other girls and women face in their lives. I was molested as a child by my own father, which began a cyclical downward path of abuse from other men in my life.
Until I was around 8 years old, I felt safe. I felt like I could trust anyone. I felt pure and undying love from my father, until one day, he chose to turn his fatherly love for me into something tainted and impure. His love twisted into something wicked and cruel that no one, especially a child, should have to experience. He abused my fragile, innocent, untouched body for his own pleasure and gain, and my trust disappeared. I no longer felt safe in my own home.
When I shared what my father did to me with my mother, she didn't believe me. She confronted my father about it, and he lied to her; he told her I dreamed it. From then on, things changed. My mother didn't look at me the same, and my father became bitter and angry with me. The sexual abuse turned into emotional and physical abuse. He hated me, or at least it felt that way. He no longer asked me to sit on his lap or spend time with him. He yelled at me, called me names, hit me and punished me for things that weren't my fault. His hatred toward me pushed me further away from my family and into the arms of men at a very young age.
I could go on and on about the different men in my life who I ran to for comfort and "love", but that's not the story. The story goes like this:
My innocence was taken from me at a very young age and I have felt pain and suffering for the majority of my life because of it. I have made decisions I regret and have hurt many people, including myself, because of it. But change can happen. Change DID happen. It is a constant upward battle, but through prayer, counseling, and healthy love from my family and peers, I have changed. The hatred and anger I felt in my life has turned into love, the pain has turned into promise, and the tragedy from my abuse has become the foundation of a greater cause today. The story is about TODAY. Today I am healed. Today I have hope. And TODAY I am using that pain and MY story to help other girls and women who have suffered from similar abuse.
Restoration Life Foundation is a non-profit organization I organized to help free girls and women from the mental and emotional pain and suffering caused by sexual abuse.
What is your story? Do you suffer from the effects of sexual abuse? Have you been freed from the emotional trauma of your abuse? I would love to hear your story if you would care to share. Please contact Restoration Life Foundation at 1-866-350-LIFE (5433) if you would like to learn more about RLF or visti our website at www.RestorationLifeFoundation.org.
I would like to publish your story in my monthly newsletter. There are more people than you think who suffer from the same abuse, and it is important to help people understand that there IS hope and a beautiful life awaiting them outside of the mental trauma from their experience.
To share your story and help change lives, email us at info@restorationlifefoundation.org .
Until I was around 8 years old, I felt safe. I felt like I could trust anyone. I felt pure and undying love from my father, until one day, he chose to turn his fatherly love for me into something tainted and impure. His love twisted into something wicked and cruel that no one, especially a child, should have to experience. He abused my fragile, innocent, untouched body for his own pleasure and gain, and my trust disappeared. I no longer felt safe in my own home.
When I shared what my father did to me with my mother, she didn't believe me. She confronted my father about it, and he lied to her; he told her I dreamed it. From then on, things changed. My mother didn't look at me the same, and my father became bitter and angry with me. The sexual abuse turned into emotional and physical abuse. He hated me, or at least it felt that way. He no longer asked me to sit on his lap or spend time with him. He yelled at me, called me names, hit me and punished me for things that weren't my fault. His hatred toward me pushed me further away from my family and into the arms of men at a very young age.
I could go on and on about the different men in my life who I ran to for comfort and "love", but that's not the story. The story goes like this:
My innocence was taken from me at a very young age and I have felt pain and suffering for the majority of my life because of it. I have made decisions I regret and have hurt many people, including myself, because of it. But change can happen. Change DID happen. It is a constant upward battle, but through prayer, counseling, and healthy love from my family and peers, I have changed. The hatred and anger I felt in my life has turned into love, the pain has turned into promise, and the tragedy from my abuse has become the foundation of a greater cause today. The story is about TODAY. Today I am healed. Today I have hope. And TODAY I am using that pain and MY story to help other girls and women who have suffered from similar abuse.
Restoration Life Foundation is a non-profit organization I organized to help free girls and women from the mental and emotional pain and suffering caused by sexual abuse.
What is your story? Do you suffer from the effects of sexual abuse? Have you been freed from the emotional trauma of your abuse? I would love to hear your story if you would care to share. Please contact Restoration Life Foundation at 1-866-350-LIFE (5433) if you would like to learn more about RLF or visti our website at www.RestorationLifeFoundation.org.
I would like to publish your story in my monthly newsletter. There are more people than you think who suffer from the same abuse, and it is important to help people understand that there IS hope and a beautiful life awaiting them outside of the mental trauma from their experience.
To share your story and help change lives, email us at info@restorationlifefoundation.org .
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Sex Trafficking in Our OWN Backyard!
SEX TRAFFICKING IN AMERICA
Sex Trafficking
Defined
Sex Trafficking occurs when people are forced or coerced
into the commercial sex trade against their will. This means at any age,
any gender, anywhere.
Sex Trafficking
Facts
When most people think of sex trafficking, they think of
girls or women from another country (such as Cambodia, Amsterdam or Bangkok)
being sold as sex slaves. Although it
exists in those countries in staggering numbers (2 million people globally to
be exact), sex trafficking is becoming more prevalent in the United
States. Yes, that’s right, in our own
backyard.
Sex Trafficking’s
Impact on America
25% of all child sex tourists around the world are US
citizens. This means that these victims
are taken from our country and moved to, or sold in other countries. It is estimated that the number of children
who are victims of commercial sexual exploitation in the United States reaches
to 100,000 – with the average age being 14 years old. Some victims are reported to being as young
as 5 years old.
The largest group of sexually trafficked victims in the
US comes from East Asia and the Pacific (5,000-7,000). The second largest group comes from Latin
America (3,500-5000). The victims that
come from the US are either lured from internet chat rooms, bus stations,
schools, group homes or malls.
Causes of Sex
Trafficking
Poverty, violence, and a lack of a quality resources and education
are closely linked to those who enter into sexual exploitation. Many of the victims are either runaways or
thrown-aways. Traffickers use their
desperate circumstances to take advantage of their vulnerability, as they feel alone
and scared, and need a place to stay by offering food, shelter and
clothing. In many cases, after they are
lured in, the trafficker fills them with drugs and alcohol to deter them from
leaving. Not only do they pump them full
of drugs, but they threaten to kill them and their families if they try to
leave.
These girls and women feel like they don’t have a voice
and many of them, give up. 50% of
trafficking victims are under the age of 18 years old. 2/3rds of sexually exploited
children suffer from additional abuse, and 71% exhibit suicidal tendencies. Trafficked children are also more likely to
become prostitutes as adults.
The Crux of the
Matter
This is a problem.
It is a problem because our children are being victimized and forced
into sexual slavery. It is a problem
because these children grow up without real families and healthy childhood
memories. They don’t play with other
children, go to the prom, go on dates or have a healthy first kiss. Their childhood is robbed from them and given
unwillingly to men who purchase their bodies for sexual gain. They are beaten, drugged, and their lives are
threatened. They feel like they have no
way out and are afraid to have a voice. More
and more people are becoming aware of the horrific epidemic in the United
States and are taking a stand to fight against sexual slavery. If you know of someone who is in need of
saving, please act now.
Common signs of a
sex trafficking victim include:
Multiple unexplained absences from school
Repeated tendency to run away from home
Frequent travels to other cities
Older boyfriends or girlfriends
Sudden ability to have expensive things
Appearing depressed or suffering physical injuries
PLACES TO CALL FOR
HELP
Polaris Project 1.888.373.7888
Safe Horizon 1.800.621.HOPE
(4763)
Friday, October 26, 2012
Five Common Myths about Child Sexual Abuse
Fact: Child sexual abuse can happen anywhere, in any neighborhood, in every religion or church group, covering all racial boundaries or ethnic groups. It does not matter how much money you have or whether or not you live in a beautiful, well-kept community; your child is still not protected from molestation or abuse.
According to the U.S. Department of Justice national statistics, 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys will become victims of sexual abuse by the time they reach their 18th birthday. Further statistics show that children in elementary school are the most at risk, and children with disabilities have even higher risk factors. This is why it is so vital for parents to become educated about the prevalence of child sexual abuse in our society today, without becoming completely mistrustful about it.
Myth #2: You have already communicated with your children about not allowing anyone to touch their private parts, and you feel you have done what you can to ensure they know and are protected. You may have even said something like this to your children, “No matter what, if someone touches you in appropriately you can tell me, it’s not ever your fault and I will believe and protect you”.
Fact: Sexual abuse occurs by forcing or manipulating a child in a way that allows the sexual offender to touch the child’s private parts (which may or may not include penetration), or takes inappropriate photos of children that also exposes their private parts, or when an offender exposes themselves to a child, etc. You can tell your children over and over about good touch vs. bad touch and proper names of body parts, but if your child doesn’t know the correct terminology, how are they going to know how to tell you they were sexually abused? Children need to be taught openly and clearly about sexual abuse, and they need to learn and know the words such as sexual abuse, molestation, incest and they need to know the proper names of their private body parts.
Myth #3: Most sexual abuse cases are committed by people who are complete strangers to you or your child.
Fact: There is a database of sexual offenders you can look up to know if they have moved into your area, however, that is not enough. Sexual abuse is not always performed by a stranger, in fact most cases it is performed by someone the child knows and trusts. Did you know that 85-90% of child sexual abuse cases are committed by trusted family members and close friends? That includes fathers and mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins, babysitters, daycare workers, boyfriends of single mom’s, fellow church members and clergy, and so on.
Myth #4:
Child sexual abuse is always perpetrated by adults.
Fact:
Twenty-three percent of reported cases of child sexual abuse are perpetrated by
individuals under the age of 18. While
some degree of sexual curiosity and exploration is to be expected between
children of about the same age, when one child coerces another to engage in
adult-like sexual activities, the behavior is unhealthy and abusive. Both the
abuser and the victim can benefit from counseling.
Fact: Most sexually abused children do not tell anyone they were abused. Victims of sexual abuse are often too afraid that the news will hurt their parents, or they are afraid of not being believed, or they were threatened in some way by the offender.
While some schools offer programs that provide useful information and resources, for both children and parents, the responsibility of educating children about sexual abuse belongs to the parents.
If you were
sexually abused or know of someone who was, you need to talk about it; the
victim needs to get inner healing so that they can have a healthy outlook on
life and use what happened to help others. The goal is to open your eyes,
educate, and be aware of your surroundings. Know who your children are with at
all times; everyone must be held accountable.
Trust
your instincts! If you feel uneasy about leaving a child with
someone, don’t do it. If you’re concerned about possible sexual abuse, ask
questions and never
trust 100% but try not to live in a paranoid state of mind.
Molestation and Shame
Definition
of Molestation: The crime of sexual acts with children up to
the age of 18, including touching of private parts, exposure of genitalia,
taking of pornographic pictures, rape, inducement of sexual acts with the
molester or with other children, and variations of these acts by pedophiles.
Molestation also applies to incest by a relative with a minor family member,
and any unwanted sexual acts with adults short of rape.
What if you are certain there has never
been a child molester or a molested child in your family? You are probably
wrong. Unfortunately, most of today's children
will never tell. They feel ashamed that this has happened to them. They are
protecting their abuser because he or she is part of their family. They are
protecting other members of their family - saving them from the pain of
knowing.
In spite of the millions of victims in our
families, many people stick to their mistaken belief that child molestation has nothing to do with them.
If you think watching out for “strangers” who might want to hurt your child, is where your focus needs to be when educating your children, then this is a huge mistake. Because of my personal experience, and being the mother of children who were sexually abused, I want to talk to those who are uninformed, misinformed, or completely ignorant about the subject.
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