Get our Monthly Newsletter!

Email us to receive our monthly newsletter!  It's full of awesome articles, current and upcoming events, as well our new column, Share Your Story, which features our story of the month written by victims who have overcome their abuse!
CLICK HERE

11.28.12 ANONYMOUS

ANONYMOUS

I remember the day it happened, like it was yesterday. He told me that it was all normal and that we were just playing a game. He said that people did this all the time. I was 3 years old, he was 4. The game? The details don’t matter, but what does is that it was sexual and it was wrong. That was the first time I remember being sexual molested. From the time I was 3 until 18, I would be sexually assaulted by different people, some my age, others older all in the guise of the “game” I learned at 3 years of age.

It wasn’t until I was married that all of the memories flooded back. I was faced with the harsh reality that I had been abused. You see in my mind, the stories had all changed. They were stories of victory where I would defeat my opponent in this “game.” But as I had to come to terms with what had happened, the truth flooded back. I had not been victorious, I had been the victim.  However, the story does not end there.

In having to face the reality, I began to realize that I didn’t have to be the victim. I sought help to deal with the trauma, the pain. What freedom I found in recognizing that even though I had been victimized, I could overcome. Through prayer, inner healing, and daily confession of Hope, I now stand free of all of the assault. I can literally say, it has no hold on me. I am free! I encourage you to deal with what happened. Don’t be the victim, be the victory. Let your trial be you triumph. Conquer, don’t be conquered. If I can do it then you can, too! There are many resources out there and I more than anyone know the freedom there is in bringing what is hidden in darkness to light.

Share Your Story

The world is a scary place.  It is full of tragedy, terror, sadness and pain.  Everybody suffers in some form or another, whether it be physical  mental or emotional; there is suffering.  The pain and suffering I felt growing up might be different from the pain other girls and women face in their lives.  I was molested as a child by my own father, which began a cyclical downward path of abuse from other men in my life.  

Until I was around 8 years old, I felt safe.  I felt like I could trust anyone.  I felt pure and undying love from my father, until one day, he chose to turn his fatherly love for me into something tainted and impure.  His love twisted into something wicked and cruel that no one, especially a child, should have to experience.  He abused my fragile, innocent, untouched body for his own pleasure and gain, and my trust disappeared.  I no longer felt safe in my own home.  

When I shared what my father did to me with my mother, she didn't believe me.  She confronted my father about it, and he lied to her; he told her I dreamed it.  From then on, things changed.  My mother didn't look at me the same, and my father became bitter and angry with me.  The sexual abuse turned into emotional and physical abuse.  He hated me, or at least it felt that way.  He no longer asked me to sit on his lap or spend time with him.  He yelled at me, called me names, hit me and punished me for things that weren't my fault.  His hatred toward me pushed me further away from my family and into the arms of men at a very young age. 

I could go on and on about the different men in my life who I ran to for comfort and "love", but that's not the story.  The story goes like this:
My innocence was taken from me at a very young age and I have felt pain and suffering for the majority of my life because of it.  I have made decisions  I regret and have hurt many people, including myself, because of it.  But change can happen.  Change DID happen.  It is a constant upward battle, but through prayer, counseling, and healthy love from my family and peers, I have changed.  The hatred and anger I felt in my life has turned into love, the pain has turned into promise, and the tragedy from my abuse has become the foundation of a greater cause today.  The story is about TODAY.  Today I am healed.  Today I have hope. And TODAY I am using that pain and MY story to help other girls and women who have suffered from similar abuse.  
Restoration Life Foundation is a non-profit organization I organized to help free girls and women from the mental and emotional pain and suffering caused by sexual abuse.  

What is your story?  Do you suffer from the effects of sexual abuse?  Have you been freed from the emotional trauma of your abuse?  I would love to hear your story if you would care to share. Please contact Restoration Life Foundation at 1-866-350-LIFE (5433) if you would like to learn more about RLF or visti our website at www.RestorationLifeFoundation.org.  

I would like to publish your story in my monthly newsletter.  There are more people than you think who suffer from the same abuse, and it is important to help people understand that there IS hope and a beautiful life awaiting them outside of the mental trauma from their experience. 

To share your story and help change lives, email us at info@restorationlifefoundation.org . 

Sex Trafficking in Our OWN Backyard!

SEX TRAFFICKING IN AMERICA

Sex Trafficking Defined

Sex Trafficking occurs when people are forced or coerced into the commercial sex trade against their will.  This means at any age, any gender, anywhere.  

Sex Trafficking Facts

When most people think of sex trafficking, they think of girls or women from another country (such as Cambodia, Amsterdam or Bangkok) being sold as sex slaves.  Although it exists in those countries in staggering numbers (2 million people globally to be exact), sex trafficking is becoming more prevalent in the United States.  Yes, that’s right, in our own backyard.   

Sex Trafficking’s Impact on America

25% of all child sex tourists around the world are US citizens.  This means that these victims are taken from our country and moved to, or sold in other countries.  It is estimated that the number of children who are victims of commercial sexual exploitation in the United States reaches to 100,000 – with the average age being 14 years old.  Some victims are reported to being as young as 5 years old. 

The largest group of sexually trafficked victims in the US comes from East Asia and the Pacific (5,000-7,000).  The second largest group comes from Latin America (3,500-5000).  The victims that come from the US are either lured from internet chat rooms, bus stations, schools, group homes or malls. 

Causes of Sex Trafficking

Poverty, violence, and a lack of a quality resources and education are closely linked to those who enter into sexual exploitation.  Many of the victims are either runaways or thrown-aways.  Traffickers use their desperate circumstances to take advantage of their vulnerability, as they feel alone and scared, and need a place to stay by offering food, shelter and clothing.  In many cases, after they are lured in, the trafficker fills them with drugs and alcohol to deter them from leaving.  Not only do they pump them full of drugs, but they threaten to kill them and their families if they try to leave. 

These girls and women feel like they don’t have a voice and many of them, give up.  50% of trafficking victims are under the age of 18 years old.  2/3^rds of sexually exploited children suffer from additional abuse, and 71% exhibit suicidal tendencies.  Trafficked children are also more likely to become prostitutes as adults. 

The Crux of the Matter

This is a problem.  It is a problem because our children are being victimized and forced into sexual slavery.  It is a problem because these children grow up without real families and healthy childhood memories.  They don’t play with other children, go to the prom, go on dates or have a healthy first kiss.  Their childhood is robbed from them and given unwillingly to men who purchase their bodies for sexual gain.  They are beaten, drugged, and their lives are threatened.  They feel like they have no way out and are afraid to have a voice.  More and more people are becoming aware of the horrific epidemic in the United States and are taking a stand to fight against sexual slavery.  If you know of someone who is in need of saving, please act now. 

Common signs of a sex trafficking victim include:

Multiple unexplained absences from school

Repeated tendency to run away from home

Frequent travels to other cities

Older boyfriends or girlfriends

Sudden ability to have expensive things

Appearing depressed or suffering physical injuries

PLACES TO CALL FOR HELP

Polaris Project                                        1.888.373.7888

Safe Horizon                                             1.800.621.HOPE (4763)

Restoration Life Foundation         1.866.350.LIFE (5433)

Five Common Myths about Child Sexual Abuse

Myth #1: Living in a nice neighborhood, where everyone knows each other by name and kids play with other neighborhood children is completely safe and there is nothing to worry about.

Fact: Child sexual abuse can happen anywhere, in any neighborhood, in every religion or church group, covering all racial boundaries or ethnic groups.  It does not matter how much money you have or whether or not you live in a beautiful, well-kept community; your child is still not protected from molestation or abuse.
According to the U.S. Department of Justice national statistics, 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys will become victims of sexual abuse by the time they reach their 18th birthday. Further statistics show that children in elementary school are the most at risk, and children with disabilities have even higher risk factors. This is why it is so vital for parents to become educated about the prevalence of child sexual abuse in our society today, without becoming completely mistrustful about it.

Myth #2: You have already communicated with your children about not allowing anyone to touch their private parts, and you feel you have done what you can to ensure they know and are protected. You may have even said something like this to your children, “No matter what, if someone touches you in appropriately you can tell me, it’s not ever your fault and I will believe and protect you”.

Fact: Sexual abuse occurs by forcing or manipulating a child in a way that allows the sexual offender to touch the child’s private parts (which may or may not include penetration), or takes inappropriate photos of children that also exposes their private parts, or when an offender exposes themselves to a child, etc. You can tell your children over and over about good touch vs. bad touch and proper names of body parts, but if your child doesn’t know the correct terminology, how are they going to know how to tell you they were sexually abused? Children need to be taught openly and clearly about sexual abuse, and they need to learn and know the words such as sexual abuse, molestation, incest and they need to know the proper names of their private body parts.

Myth #3: Most sexual abuse cases are committed by people who are complete strangers to you or your child.

Fact: There is a database of sexual offenders you can look up to know if they have moved into your area, however, that is not enough. Sexual abuse is not always performed by a stranger, in fact most cases it is performed by someone the child knows and trusts. Did you know that 85-90% of child sexual abuse cases are committed by trusted family members and close friends?  That includes fathers and mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins, babysitters, daycare workers, boyfriends of single mom’s, fellow church members and clergy, and so on.

Myth #4: Child sexual abuse is always perpetrated by adults.

Fact: Twenty-three percent of reported cases of child sexual abuse are perpetrated by individuals under the age of 18. While some degree of sexual curiosity and exploration is to be expected between children of about the same age, when one child coerces another to engage in adult-like sexual activities, the behavior is unhealthy and abusive. Both the abuser and the victim can benefit from counseling. 

Myth #5: You believe that your child will tell you that he or she had been sexually abused.

Fact: Most sexually abused children do not tell anyone they were abused.  Victims of sexual abuse are often too afraid that the news will hurt their parents, or they are afraid of not being believed, or they were threatened in some way by the offender.
While some schools offer programs that provide useful information and resources, for both children and parents, the responsibility of educating children about sexual abuse belongs to the parents.

If you were sexually abused or know of someone who was, you need to talk about it; the victim needs to get inner healing so that they can have a healthy outlook on life and use what happened to help others. The goal is to open your eyes, educate, and be aware of your surroundings. Know who your children are with at all times; everyone must be held accountable.  Trust your instincts! If you feel uneasy about leaving a child with someone, don’t do it. If you’re concerned about possible sexual abuse, ask questions and never trust 100% but try not to live in a paranoid state of mind.

Molestation and Shame

Definition of Molestation:  The crime of sexual acts with children up to the age of 18, including touching of private parts, exposure of genitalia, taking of pornographic pictures, rape, inducement of sexual acts with the molester or with other children, and variations of these acts by pedophiles. Molestation also applies to incest by a relative with a minor family member, and any unwanted sexual acts with adults short of rape.

What if you are certain there has never been a child molester or a molested child in your family? You are probably wrong. Unfortunately, most of today's children will never tell. They feel ashamed that this has happened to them. They are protecting their abuser because he or she is part of their family. They are protecting other members of their family - saving them from the pain of knowing.

In spite of the millions of victims in our families, many people stick to their mistaken belief that child molestation has nothing to do with them.

I was a victim of sexual abuse when I was a young child; my father was the first who molested me. When I became a mother I did my very best to try and educate my children to protect them from becoming a victim.   Unfortunately all my educating and shielding did not protect all my kids.  Despite knowing the statistics and all the known signs and symptoms of child abuse; understanding the methods child molesters often use on intended victims; teaching and reminding my children about “good touch, bad touch” on a regular basis; having excellent communication with my children; two of my kids became victims.

If you think watching out for “strangers” who might want to hurt your child, is where your focus needs to be when educating your children, then this is a huge mistake. Because of my personal experience, and being the mother of children who were sexually abused, I want to talk to those who are uninformed, misinformed, or completely ignorant about the subject.
 

I'm Fat and Nobody Cares

My New Book
I'm Fat and Nobody Cares

The stares, the mocking laughter, the hurt, and the pain; this is one woman’s journey of learning that being fat really does matter to everyone. In “I’m Fat and Nobody Cares”, Kathleen Frank tackles the many issues that face people who battle obesity and the reasons why they do. This is the author’s personal testimony of how she overcame sexual and emotional abuse, her constant struggle with weight and how she was able to find the Lord amidst every temptation to turn against Him.

Through her own battle and heartbreak, Kathleen attempts to uncover the roots of this rampant issue and bring to light the pain that she and many others have experienced through weight gain. She sheds light on the real reasons why many people have become obese and how there is hope for them. The author could have very easily used this book as an outlet for her emotions, anger especially, but instead this book is very tactfully written.

A rough childhood, two bumpy marriages with one ending in an affair that changed her life forever, Kathleen details her own struggle of weighing over 330 pounds and how through the love of Christ and the practical implementation of His Word in her life she has been able to come to terms with her weight and believe God for a miracle.