Molestation and Shame

Definition of Molestation:  The crime of sexual acts with children up to the age of 18, including touching of private parts, exposure of genitalia, taking of pornographic pictures, rape, inducement of sexual acts with the molester or with other children, and variations of these acts by pedophiles. Molestation also applies to incest by a relative with a minor family member, and any unwanted sexual acts with adults short of rape.

What if you are certain there has never been a child molester or a molested child in your family? You are probably wrong. Unfortunately, most of today's children will never tell. They feel ashamed that this has happened to them. They are protecting their abuser because he or she is part of their family. They are protecting other members of their family - saving them from the pain of knowing.

In spite of the millions of victims in our families, many people stick to their mistaken belief that child molestation has nothing to do with them.

I was a victim of sexual abuse when I was a young child; my father was the first who molested me. When I became a mother I did my very best to try and educate my children to protect them from becoming a victim.   Unfortunately all my educating and shielding did not protect all my kids.  Despite knowing the statistics and all the known signs and symptoms of child abuse; understanding the methods child molesters often use on intended victims; teaching and reminding my children about “good touch, bad touch” on a regular basis; having excellent communication with my children; two of my kids became victims.

If you think watching out for “strangers” who might want to hurt your child, is where your focus needs to be when educating your children, then this is a huge mistake. Because of my personal experience, and being the mother of children who were sexually abused, I want to talk to those who are uninformed, misinformed, or completely ignorant about the subject.