February 26, 2013

Kathleen will be speaking at the Fresno Women's Chamber of Commerce luncheon, held at National University in Fresno, CA from 11:30-1:30pm.
You WON'T want to miss this!!
National University
20 River Park Place West
Fresno, CA 93720

For more information, please visit their website at www.fcwcc.org

January 22, 2013

Kathleen Frank will be speaking at the Clovis Chamber of Commerce Women's Dinner at Andiamo's in Clovis, CA.  Dinner is from 5:30-7:30.
You WON'T want to miss this!!!
Andiamo's
1275 Shaw Ave.
Clovis, CA 93611

For more information about this event, please visit the Clovis Chamber of Commerce website www.clovischamber.com

ANONYMOUS 12/26/12

I was 3 years old when I was molested by my cousin, she was 14. Imagine feeling a sensual feeling at that young of an age, and carrying it until now. By the grace of God I am a virgin still to this day, but not a virgin to the sexual tension that’s been in my body since I was a little girl. At that age, somebody shouldn't feel what I felt for so many years, a young girl should be playing with toys for fun or surrounding herself in things that made her feel good inside. Not me though, that sensual feeling was stuck in my mind all the time. Masturbation usually starts when maturation begins in one’s self, but it started for me the day my innocence was tainted. I remember my teachers at school always catching me, and having to have meetings with my parents about my actions. My parents would catch me and I’d get yelled at, and my pastors would catch me and feel so bad for me. I remember having friends spend the night, and all I could think about was trying not to do it because I didn't want to scare them or get caught. I was constantly guilty, and always feeling like I was going to get in trouble. I remember as I got older I was able to control it; one because of God and two because I had to try hard to not let it have such a hold on me. To this day I struggle with the want to feel that sensation again, but I keep trying harder and harder to not let it have control over me. The molestation didn't affect me to where I was scandalous, or gave myself away to men, but every day is a day for me to get back the innocence that was taken away from me long ago. 

Steps to Inner Healing and Freedom

Below is a basic list of fundamental steps that are extremely important for those who want inner healing and desire deliverance from the pain and trauma of sexual abuse. The information here is a vital part of getting set free and it can play an irreplaceable role in setting you free today. Don’t spend the rest of your life in resentment, pain, and emotional and physical suffering from your past. The steps below are designed to heal your soul and give you freedom.

You Are Loved

First I want you to know that you are loved and I fully understand that there is nothing more you want but to be healed from your wounds and to have your pain, hurt and sorrow taken away from you. Have you loved somebody so much, that you wish you could take their pain or suffering from them? Of course you have. The first step is to love you. When you love yourself and know you are loved it makes the journey easier.  If you have a difficult time loving yourself, then seek to find someone to help you through this process. Find someone who loves you and allow them to love on you and tell you why they love you. Get reaffirmation of how much you’re loved. I go to the Bible and there I find thousands of scriptures of how much God loves me, this really helps me a lot!

Cast Your Cares Away

Do you want to receive healing from emotional wounds, pain, sorrows, grief, and anguish? It is vital that we cast these cares away not take the burden on ourselves. Everyone has their own way of doing this, for me I believe in God and that He loves me with an everlasting love, and that He desires me to be healed and set free, therefore I cast my cares upon Him.  Not some of them, but ALL of them; knowing that He cares for me and wants to take those wounds from me eases me; it gives me peace.

Release the hurt, the painful and fearful emotions from your soul.  Hanging onto fear, hurt and pain can actually block you from receiving healing in your soul. It is vital to open up and allow your wounds to be healed, and if you have a higher power like I do, then give it to Him. A scripture that helps me focus on this is in Matthew 11:28-30”

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

In the above verse, it's not speaking about a heavy physical burden, but a burden in a person's soul. This is made evident in the latter part of this passage where it says, “You will find rest for your souls.” Jesus is telling us to come to Him and give Him our heavy burden, and take His yoke which is light and easy to bear.

If you can’t go to God, then you need to work harder and tell your painful emotions to be released as you cast them away. It's okay to cry, sob and let the damaged emotions come out as you release them. Holding on to the pain and hurt will only prevent you from being healed.

Find Someone To Confide In

If you can find a person to confide in, it can also be very helpful to share your burden with them and receive encouragement and support from them. There is tremendous healing that can take place as you share your pain with someone you trust!

Try to find someone who has your best interest in mind. Someone who has been through a similar situation and has come out healed and set free is ideal.  You would be amazed to know that there are more people who have been through what you have been through, some set free and living an awesome life. Seek someone who can understand and give you comfort and wisdom.   Don't worry about being judged by what happened to you, the person you confide in must love who you are now.

Forgive

Abuse, trauma, hurt and pain are all works of evil.  However, it’s important to extend forgiveness towards those who have hurt you.  Not being able to forgive will hinder or block your healing. It will bind you up and cause you to live in pain and torment.  It is vital to release those feelings that you have against others, so that healing and forgiving power can heal and restore your soul.  It is a deadly poison that separates us from others and from forgiveness in our own lives. It is hard to receive healing when one is in such a position. Inner healing requires you to forgive. It is absolutely essential to release feelings of bitterness and resentment, in order to fully receive healing for our souls. Forgiving others will welcome healing power into your life.

Know Who You Are

Many people do not know who they are; they do not know their purpose.  They live day by day repeating many of the same things in their lives and seem to be going nowhere.  This way of life can cause depression which can lead to more hurt and pain.  Know who you are, know what your purpose is in life. If you don’t know, take time to find out. Ask yourself what you love about you, what your interests are and what makes you get up each day.  For me, I have recently come to know who I am, and realizing this was absolutely vital to my healing process. I now know my purpose.  Channeling what happened to me to help others; it is part of the healing process. When you've "been there and done that” you can empathize and be there for someone else who has or is suffering. You were created for good, use what happened to you to help someone else, doing so will not only help you heal but them too.

Confront Your Fears

If you deal with unbelief, insecurity, guilt, shame and so forth, you need to confront your fears. When I am faced with any kind of fear, I shout it out and tell whatever it is holding me back to leave.  A fear of any kind is not a part of who you are and has no place in your life; you have control over your fears, just take it! If you are impressed to speak over your fears now, then I encourage you to do so right now.  Why wait? This exercise will give you a sense of freedom when you’re done! Fear is what has bound you and held you a prisoner in your mind, body and soul. If you do not have the strength to confront your fears then God can and will deliver you from these areas that have held you captive, all you need to do is release it to Him.  If you still need help, and many reading this will, please don't hesitate to seek help from someone who is qualified.

I do not claim to be a specialist in the area of inner healing and deliverance, nor am I certified to help or council you. However, I have been through several inner healing and deliverance sessions for myself and once I experienced true freedom, I spent time going through classes so that I can offer help to those who have been bound as I once was. Again, there are those who are specialists, they can help you and I encourage you to seek the help you need so you can live a life of freedom in your mind, body and soul.

Thank you for taking time to read this article, the information given can also be found in my book, “I’m Fat and Nobody Cares”.  My hope is that you will be on the road to recovery and live a life that is purposeful and full of love, joy and freedom!  The state of our mind, our will, and our emotions are very important in how we feel, think, and act. One of my purposes in life is to share my freedom with as many people as I can so they too are set free from the bondage that has held them back most of their lives.   If you too are set free, I encourage you to share your story with others so they can get help. Doing so is a service of love that you can give to others who need to be free!

Volunteers Needed

Restoration Life Foundation is currently seeking volunteers who are interested in helping to be a part of changing girls and women’s lives who suffer from the emotional trauma of sexual abuse and molestation.   We are looking for people who are willing to volunteer their time to make phone calls to local churches, women’s organizations, counselors, and other non-profit organizations or schools that would consider having me speak about my abuse and offer hope and restoration.  Please contact us at info@restorationlifefoundation.org  or call at 1-866-350-LIFE (5433) if you are interested in volunteering your time for our cause.

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11.28.12 ANONYMOUS

ANONYMOUS

I remember the day it happened, like it was yesterday. He told me that it was all normal and that we were just playing a game. He said that people did this all the time. I was 3 years old, he was 4. The game? The details don’t matter, but what does is that it was sexual and it was wrong. That was the first time I remember being sexual molested. From the time I was 3 until 18, I would be sexually assaulted by different people, some my age, others older all in the guise of the “game” I learned at 3 years of age.

It wasn’t until I was married that all of the memories flooded back. I was faced with the harsh reality that I had been abused. You see in my mind, the stories had all changed. They were stories of victory where I would defeat my opponent in this “game.” But as I had to come to terms with what had happened, the truth flooded back. I had not been victorious, I had been the victim.  However, the story does not end there.

In having to face the reality, I began to realize that I didn’t have to be the victim. I sought help to deal with the trauma, the pain. What freedom I found in recognizing that even though I had been victimized, I could overcome. Through prayer, inner healing, and daily confession of Hope, I now stand free of all of the assault. I can literally say, it has no hold on me. I am free! I encourage you to deal with what happened. Don’t be the victim, be the victory. Let your trial be you triumph. Conquer, don’t be conquered. If I can do it then you can, too! There are many resources out there and I more than anyone know the freedom there is in bringing what is hidden in darkness to light.

Share Your Story

The world is a scary place.  It is full of tragedy, terror, sadness and pain.  Everybody suffers in some form or another, whether it be physical  mental or emotional; there is suffering.  The pain and suffering I felt growing up might be different from the pain other girls and women face in their lives.  I was molested as a child by my own father, which began a cyclical downward path of abuse from other men in my life.  

Until I was around 8 years old, I felt safe.  I felt like I could trust anyone.  I felt pure and undying love from my father, until one day, he chose to turn his fatherly love for me into something tainted and impure.  His love twisted into something wicked and cruel that no one, especially a child, should have to experience.  He abused my fragile, innocent, untouched body for his own pleasure and gain, and my trust disappeared.  I no longer felt safe in my own home.  

When I shared what my father did to me with my mother, she didn't believe me.  She confronted my father about it, and he lied to her; he told her I dreamed it.  From then on, things changed.  My mother didn't look at me the same, and my father became bitter and angry with me.  The sexual abuse turned into emotional and physical abuse.  He hated me, or at least it felt that way.  He no longer asked me to sit on his lap or spend time with him.  He yelled at me, called me names, hit me and punished me for things that weren't my fault.  His hatred toward me pushed me further away from my family and into the arms of men at a very young age. 

I could go on and on about the different men in my life who I ran to for comfort and "love", but that's not the story.  The story goes like this:
My innocence was taken from me at a very young age and I have felt pain and suffering for the majority of my life because of it.  I have made decisions  I regret and have hurt many people, including myself, because of it.  But change can happen.  Change DID happen.  It is a constant upward battle, but through prayer, counseling, and healthy love from my family and peers, I have changed.  The hatred and anger I felt in my life has turned into love, the pain has turned into promise, and the tragedy from my abuse has become the foundation of a greater cause today.  The story is about TODAY.  Today I am healed.  Today I have hope. And TODAY I am using that pain and MY story to help other girls and women who have suffered from similar abuse.  
Restoration Life Foundation is a non-profit organization I organized to help free girls and women from the mental and emotional pain and suffering caused by sexual abuse.  

What is your story?  Do you suffer from the effects of sexual abuse?  Have you been freed from the emotional trauma of your abuse?  I would love to hear your story if you would care to share. Please contact Restoration Life Foundation at 1-866-350-LIFE (5433) if you would like to learn more about RLF or visti our website at www.RestorationLifeFoundation.org.  

I would like to publish your story in my monthly newsletter.  There are more people than you think who suffer from the same abuse, and it is important to help people understand that there IS hope and a beautiful life awaiting them outside of the mental trauma from their experience. 

To share your story and help change lives, email us at info@restorationlifefoundation.org . 

Sex Trafficking in Our OWN Backyard!

SEX TRAFFICKING IN AMERICA

Sex Trafficking Defined

Sex Trafficking occurs when people are forced or coerced into the commercial sex trade against their will.  This means at any age, any gender, anywhere.  

Sex Trafficking Facts

When most people think of sex trafficking, they think of girls or women from another country (such as Cambodia, Amsterdam or Bangkok) being sold as sex slaves.  Although it exists in those countries in staggering numbers (2 million people globally to be exact), sex trafficking is becoming more prevalent in the United States.  Yes, that’s right, in our own backyard.   

Sex Trafficking’s Impact on America

25% of all child sex tourists around the world are US citizens.  This means that these victims are taken from our country and moved to, or sold in other countries.  It is estimated that the number of children who are victims of commercial sexual exploitation in the United States reaches to 100,000 – with the average age being 14 years old.  Some victims are reported to being as young as 5 years old. 

The largest group of sexually trafficked victims in the US comes from East Asia and the Pacific (5,000-7,000).  The second largest group comes from Latin America (3,500-5000).  The victims that come from the US are either lured from internet chat rooms, bus stations, schools, group homes or malls. 

Causes of Sex Trafficking

Poverty, violence, and a lack of a quality resources and education are closely linked to those who enter into sexual exploitation.  Many of the victims are either runaways or thrown-aways.  Traffickers use their desperate circumstances to take advantage of their vulnerability, as they feel alone and scared, and need a place to stay by offering food, shelter and clothing.  In many cases, after they are lured in, the trafficker fills them with drugs and alcohol to deter them from leaving.  Not only do they pump them full of drugs, but they threaten to kill them and their families if they try to leave. 

These girls and women feel like they don’t have a voice and many of them, give up.  50% of trafficking victims are under the age of 18 years old.  2/3^rds of sexually exploited children suffer from additional abuse, and 71% exhibit suicidal tendencies.  Trafficked children are also more likely to become prostitutes as adults. 

The Crux of the Matter

This is a problem.  It is a problem because our children are being victimized and forced into sexual slavery.  It is a problem because these children grow up without real families and healthy childhood memories.  They don’t play with other children, go to the prom, go on dates or have a healthy first kiss.  Their childhood is robbed from them and given unwillingly to men who purchase their bodies for sexual gain.  They are beaten, drugged, and their lives are threatened.  They feel like they have no way out and are afraid to have a voice.  More and more people are becoming aware of the horrific epidemic in the United States and are taking a stand to fight against sexual slavery.  If you know of someone who is in need of saving, please act now. 

Common signs of a sex trafficking victim include:

Multiple unexplained absences from school

Repeated tendency to run away from home

Frequent travels to other cities

Older boyfriends or girlfriends

Sudden ability to have expensive things

Appearing depressed or suffering physical injuries

PLACES TO CALL FOR HELP

Polaris Project                                        1.888.373.7888

Safe Horizon                                             1.800.621.HOPE (4763)

Restoration Life Foundation         1.866.350.LIFE (5433)

Five Common Myths about Child Sexual Abuse

Myth #1: Living in a nice neighborhood, where everyone knows each other by name and kids play with other neighborhood children is completely safe and there is nothing to worry about.

Fact: Child sexual abuse can happen anywhere, in any neighborhood, in every religion or church group, covering all racial boundaries or ethnic groups.  It does not matter how much money you have or whether or not you live in a beautiful, well-kept community; your child is still not protected from molestation or abuse.
According to the U.S. Department of Justice national statistics, 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys will become victims of sexual abuse by the time they reach their 18th birthday. Further statistics show that children in elementary school are the most at risk, and children with disabilities have even higher risk factors. This is why it is so vital for parents to become educated about the prevalence of child sexual abuse in our society today, without becoming completely mistrustful about it.

Myth #2: You have already communicated with your children about not allowing anyone to touch their private parts, and you feel you have done what you can to ensure they know and are protected. You may have even said something like this to your children, “No matter what, if someone touches you in appropriately you can tell me, it’s not ever your fault and I will believe and protect you”.

Fact: Sexual abuse occurs by forcing or manipulating a child in a way that allows the sexual offender to touch the child’s private parts (which may or may not include penetration), or takes inappropriate photos of children that also exposes their private parts, or when an offender exposes themselves to a child, etc. You can tell your children over and over about good touch vs. bad touch and proper names of body parts, but if your child doesn’t know the correct terminology, how are they going to know how to tell you they were sexually abused? Children need to be taught openly and clearly about sexual abuse, and they need to learn and know the words such as sexual abuse, molestation, incest and they need to know the proper names of their private body parts.

Myth #3: Most sexual abuse cases are committed by people who are complete strangers to you or your child.

Fact: There is a database of sexual offenders you can look up to know if they have moved into your area, however, that is not enough. Sexual abuse is not always performed by a stranger, in fact most cases it is performed by someone the child knows and trusts. Did you know that 85-90% of child sexual abuse cases are committed by trusted family members and close friends?  That includes fathers and mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins, babysitters, daycare workers, boyfriends of single mom’s, fellow church members and clergy, and so on.

Myth #4: Child sexual abuse is always perpetrated by adults.

Fact: Twenty-three percent of reported cases of child sexual abuse are perpetrated by individuals under the age of 18. While some degree of sexual curiosity and exploration is to be expected between children of about the same age, when one child coerces another to engage in adult-like sexual activities, the behavior is unhealthy and abusive. Both the abuser and the victim can benefit from counseling. 

Myth #5: You believe that your child will tell you that he or she had been sexually abused.

Fact: Most sexually abused children do not tell anyone they were abused.  Victims of sexual abuse are often too afraid that the news will hurt their parents, or they are afraid of not being believed, or they were threatened in some way by the offender.
While some schools offer programs that provide useful information and resources, for both children and parents, the responsibility of educating children about sexual abuse belongs to the parents.

If you were sexually abused or know of someone who was, you need to talk about it; the victim needs to get inner healing so that they can have a healthy outlook on life and use what happened to help others. The goal is to open your eyes, educate, and be aware of your surroundings. Know who your children are with at all times; everyone must be held accountable.  Trust your instincts! If you feel uneasy about leaving a child with someone, don’t do it. If you’re concerned about possible sexual abuse, ask questions and never trust 100% but try not to live in a paranoid state of mind.

Molestation and Shame

Definition of Molestation:  The crime of sexual acts with children up to the age of 18, including touching of private parts, exposure of genitalia, taking of pornographic pictures, rape, inducement of sexual acts with the molester or with other children, and variations of these acts by pedophiles. Molestation also applies to incest by a relative with a minor family member, and any unwanted sexual acts with adults short of rape.

What if you are certain there has never been a child molester or a molested child in your family? You are probably wrong. Unfortunately, most of today's children will never tell. They feel ashamed that this has happened to them. They are protecting their abuser because he or she is part of their family. They are protecting other members of their family - saving them from the pain of knowing.

In spite of the millions of victims in our families, many people stick to their mistaken belief that child molestation has nothing to do with them.

I was a victim of sexual abuse when I was a young child; my father was the first who molested me. When I became a mother I did my very best to try and educate my children to protect them from becoming a victim.   Unfortunately all my educating and shielding did not protect all my kids.  Despite knowing the statistics and all the known signs and symptoms of child abuse; understanding the methods child molesters often use on intended victims; teaching and reminding my children about “good touch, bad touch” on a regular basis; having excellent communication with my children; two of my kids became victims.

If you think watching out for “strangers” who might want to hurt your child, is where your focus needs to be when educating your children, then this is a huge mistake. Because of my personal experience, and being the mother of children who were sexually abused, I want to talk to those who are uninformed, misinformed, or completely ignorant about the subject.